What has come of the new technological dating world but less and less actual voice and face interaction and more texts, emails and Facebook relationship status changes!?! It seems like the more a person puts themselves out there to be vulnerable, technology is constantly competing to make that difficult.
Fewer people want to actually meet up for face to face physical interaction (unless we are talking about a booty call), they rather send a plethora of text messages over a two hour period than have a twenty minute phone conversation or they'd rather send a tweet or Facebook message to ask someone a question. As much as I enjoy the conveniences of technology, I also despise it. It has taken the personal affect out of communication. You don't see the non-verbal cues or body language, tone and the way a message is portrayed can be completely different than intended. Which brings me to my one burning question: Why do people send or respond to maintenance texts?
In the dating world, as I am sure many of you are aware, technology has made it way too convenient to have a multitude of prospects versus focusing time, energy and effort into one particular person. While the options are nice to have, how can you really know whether a person is worth your full time and attention when you have multiple people competing for it? How do you handle all of the prospects? How do you determine which person is worthy of more than the maintenance text?
I get a kick of saying 'maintenance text!' My girl friends and some of my guy friends come to me for advice on dating and we begin to discuss their levels of communication. Then, like a black cloud out of the sky... they have either sent the maintenance text or responded to one.
For those of you wondering... what a maintenance text is, it is a text message you either send or receive that requires no response to the receiver other than to say, "I took a second of my time to acknowledge you BUT I do not require a text back." Maintaining communication with another person just in case your star player falls through or the sender is having a rough day and needs a little more attention and their ego stroked, they know they can send a text and you will respond! I am telling you, you do not want to be the recipient of a maintenance text and don't be tacky and send one.
Personally, if I send a text you will know that I am directly sending the text to you. I will address you by your name, call you a nickname, pet name or reference something that you and I have talked about! You will never see me send or respond to the average:
- 'Good Morning'
- 'Hope you have a good day'
- 'Good Afternoon'
- 'Good Evening'
- 'Hope you had a good day/night'
- 'Good Night'
These are the classic examples of maintenance texts. "Hi, you thought I was thinking of you but I really selected six other people to receive the same text... wonder who will respond first?!?" Yes people, the people sending these maintenance texts actually think like that. Not all, but many do! So, before you go getting excited and responding to a message that isn't personal to you, doesn't ask for a response or have any actual association to your existence to the sender... don't feed in to the need to stroke another person's ego. Let them wear their big boy/girl underwear or panties and learn to understand that people are not placed on earth just to entertain them!
Anyhow, I had to say something about the infamous 'maintenance texts' because a few friends of mine and I were just talking about how pathetic they are and how people really think this stuff works, or for the responders you actually believe that you are important.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Direction...
As I sit here I think to myself what exactly do I want my blog page to be about! Should I be raw and candid and really put my thoughts to writing or should I be more cautious and not really bring out the real me. I think I prefer the latter of the two, so I hope I do not offend anyone who may read this or come across my page.
My perception, my eyes... all about what has molded and shaped who I am as a woman. Life wasn't easy growing up in a single parent household, never having met my father and feeling like I wasn't worth anything to him. But the then to have my mother trying to find her own little bit of happiness and having to be placed in the horrible situation that we'll call Walter, really screwed me up more. We'll get into some stories on Walter later but for now, we'll stick to small pieces and not dive into full details. Needless to say, Walter subjected me to child abuse, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol and an array of settings a child should never become involved with. We ended up not having anything. I knew what standing in line outside of a warehouse for powdered milk and government cheese meant, hitting up numerous food banks, receiving free shoe's from my elementary school and walking to the store with a booklet of food stamps in my hands. My mother made a decision to return back to school and began pulling us out of the slums of Fruit Valley. I knew I wanted to change my personal life and surroundings and promised myself I would always be the best at what I do, so there I was a nearly straight A student. My only downfall was I was pregnant at sixteen years old and by the time I hit my juinor year of high school I was a mother. My senior year of high school my mother had an unexpected asthma attack which lead to cardiac arrest and she passed. Since a month after my eighteenth birthday I have lived on my own, with the exception of my marriage and another man that I thought I was going to marry. I have been disowned by my family essentially because I had children out of wedlock, been perceived as a failure and have worked through the horrible abandonment issues I carried around with me for twentyeight years of my life. I have walked a path and because of that it has shaped and molded me into the woman, mother, graddaughter, sister, friend and associate that I am today.
I have numerous things to share, all from my perspective and point of view. You may agree, disagree, feel connected to my stories or opinions but please know that in my writing none of this will be intended to offend or hurt any particular person. I am raw, as my grandma tells me, "I tell it like it is," and being that this is my blog page... I will say what I want!
I hope you enjoy my posts!
My perception, my eyes... all about what has molded and shaped who I am as a woman. Life wasn't easy growing up in a single parent household, never having met my father and feeling like I wasn't worth anything to him. But the then to have my mother trying to find her own little bit of happiness and having to be placed in the horrible situation that we'll call Walter, really screwed me up more. We'll get into some stories on Walter later but for now, we'll stick to small pieces and not dive into full details. Needless to say, Walter subjected me to child abuse, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol and an array of settings a child should never become involved with. We ended up not having anything. I knew what standing in line outside of a warehouse for powdered milk and government cheese meant, hitting up numerous food banks, receiving free shoe's from my elementary school and walking to the store with a booklet of food stamps in my hands. My mother made a decision to return back to school and began pulling us out of the slums of Fruit Valley. I knew I wanted to change my personal life and surroundings and promised myself I would always be the best at what I do, so there I was a nearly straight A student. My only downfall was I was pregnant at sixteen years old and by the time I hit my juinor year of high school I was a mother. My senior year of high school my mother had an unexpected asthma attack which lead to cardiac arrest and she passed. Since a month after my eighteenth birthday I have lived on my own, with the exception of my marriage and another man that I thought I was going to marry. I have been disowned by my family essentially because I had children out of wedlock, been perceived as a failure and have worked through the horrible abandonment issues I carried around with me for twentyeight years of my life. I have walked a path and because of that it has shaped and molded me into the woman, mother, graddaughter, sister, friend and associate that I am today.
I have numerous things to share, all from my perspective and point of view. You may agree, disagree, feel connected to my stories or opinions but please know that in my writing none of this will be intended to offend or hurt any particular person. I am raw, as my grandma tells me, "I tell it like it is," and being that this is my blog page... I will say what I want!
I hope you enjoy my posts!
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